Dear Sky, this is how I discovered you

I learned of your existence one day when I thought I was sick. I thought “Surely, it’s the flu or some reaction from accidental gluten.” I was in Dallas leading a workshop full of people, struggling to get through it. Just then, a little blink of awareness flashed in my head.

During lunch, that curiosity lead me to the pharmacy… thinking, “no, it couldn’t be…” and I stuffed the pregnancy test in my purse as I walked into the taco shop.

“No, it couldn’t be,” again, as I chose a table after returning from the bathroom, activated test in my purse. “Nah, no way,” I thought as I got ready to eat the tacos in front of me. “Let me just check that thing…”

That tiny blink of awareness completely overtook me when I saw the two bright pink lines on the test. After a son by fertility and a failed second attempt, the last thing I expected… was you.

You had me totally speechless, totally motionless. I remained that way for about 20 minutes before I picked up the phone to tell your daddy about you. No answer, so I dialed back immediately, our code for “stop what you’re doing and pick up the phone!” A rushed voice on the other end. “Are you sitting down?” I asked.

All I heard was a clunk as his head hit the table. The last thing your daddy expected was you too. It didn’t take long for our shock to erupt into joyful laughter.

I can’t remember if I ever ate those tacos. I can’t even remember if I made it through the rest of the workshop. All I remember is was walking on clouds, wondering about you. Gratitude for the gift of expanding joy and love, as expansive as the Sky.